You Know You’re a Boy Mom When…

I grew up in a blended family according to what’s politically correct. My mom and dad both had children from previous relationships before they themselves met and married, and then had three children together. So in our immediate household, there were my two older sisters, me in the middle, and then two little brothers behind me.

Those little brothers TORTURED ME! Especially the one that’s 17 months my junior. He would do whatever he could to annoy, distract, and divert my attention away from whatever it was I was doing to him. And his goal was to get me to squeal, shriek, fight, chase, and ensue in a wrestling match. Most of the times his efforts were rewarded by my emotional and passionate reactions, and he would take off running, bare chested with tight-fitted shorts, eyes twinkling and snaggle-toothed smile gleaming in little brother annoyance, with me charging behind him, swinging and praying for contact.

I remember my little brothers being obsessed with Bruce Lee and Jean-Claude Van Damme, and them taking two chairs, climbing on top, and then carefully lowering themselves into a split formation..one foot turned up on each chair (see photo below). They were so proud of their efforts. Me as their sister just rolled my eyes in response and prayed for the swoosh and kicks of their verbal sound effects for their 17th karate fight of the day, to soon pass.

 

Jean-Claude Van Damme photo from film, BloodSport. And this is what my brothers replicated every. single. day.
Jean-Claude Van Damme photo from film, BloodSport. And this is what my brothers replicated Every. Single. Day.

Now that I’m a mother of three boys, I find myself watching my boys do many of the things my little brothers did! Although there are two decades of time that has passed, one thing remains the same… boys will be boys! If you have multiple boys or just a single boy, you can probably relate to a few points on my list of:

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BOY MOM WHEN…

  1. You can get them dressed in 60 seconds or less in the morning. No one really cares when boys aren’t perfectly coordinated. A tshirt, jeans or sweats, and sneakers are pretty much wardrobe staples!
  2. Over time, you expect them to wrestle and fight and you become perfectly ok with it. In fact, when its too quiet, that’s an immediate warning sign that they are up to no good and you need to find them ASAP!
  3. You can hear a very loud thud in a part of the house. Your heart rate accelerates a little bit as you stop what you’re doing, listen for what type of cry that may or may not follow, and then you determine if you need to check on them based off of what you hear. Most of the time you shrug and go about your business.
  4. They’ve gotten into your makeup bag, and when you finally see them, their eyes are plastered in multi-colored eye shadow. You laugh, take a photo, and file that in “High School Graduation Slide-Show Photos”. You also hurry and wipe it off before your husband sees them. LOLOLOL!
  5. If you’ve ever been hit square in the forehead with a youth football, while your husband solely focuses on how accurate the aim was, then congratulations, you’re a boy mom!
  6. Your weeknights and or weekends are slowly but surely being completely taken over by sports. If you have a lawn chair on stand-by in your trunk, then yep! You have boys!
  7. You get presented with dandelions atleast 3 days a week. And each time your son(s) give them to you, they hold them out like they are freshly picked, long-stemmed roses. You take them, conjuring up the happiest smile you can muster while oozing an enthusiastic “awww, thank you! So sweet!” While you are touched at the level of attention your boys give you, you secretly scout out where to stash them. Keep it real with me, ok?! Don’t nobody want them thangs!
  8. You buy new sneakers every 2-3 months, and when the boys get their foot measured, your eyes bulge in surprise that they’ve grown by 2 sizes. How do they grow so fast? How did they walk in their old shoes?! How did you NOT notice their shoes were too small?!
  9. If you have ever had itchy boys, you know the itch can include areas below the belt. My 20 month year older frequently requests that I scratch his er um…scrotum. Today he actually fell into a deep sleep whilst I relieved his itch, with his diaper halfway open and his legs sprawled open like a little frog, his eye lids became heavier and heavier until he finally succombed to nap time slumber. If one of your boys has ever put you through that, extra boy mom points! I will be starting a prayer call for their future wives. Ya’ll in?
  10. And finally, if you have ever greeted your boys (or even other people’s kids) by flipping them upside down and body slamming them on the bed or the couch, or pinning them down and tickling them until they can’t take another second, then you my dear, are a boy mom true and through and need to start workin’ on that girl for some household balance. LOL!

 

Presented by my son Jabin, it took him like 15 minutes to pick all of these.
Presented by my son Jabin, it took him like 15 minutes to pick all of these, lol!

It should go without saying, that no matter the sex of your children, that they are individually special, unique, fun, and come with their own set of parenting challenges. Having all boys has taught me, one who naturally likes to know what’s happening next, to just be flexible and go with the flow! I’m steadily learning that its not the end of the world if they show up somewhere with holes in their knees and grass stains. Life will go on when they face plant into the pavement or jump off of things they had no business climbing on in the first place. With each new phase that we get to experience mothering our children, boys or not, God’s grace is sufficient and available for us to in turn pass that grace back to our children. Parenting boys is HARD! They try your patience day in and day out. But lets remember to have fun with it, to let them see us having fun, and to do fun things together! Serious, authoritative parents are no fun. Cheers to parenting with a loving balance of discipline, joy, order, and a soft place for our children to fall, over and over again.

So how is this list? Can you identify? Add your own “Boy Mom” moments below!