Another Wild Wednesday!

As I type, its only 2pm EST and today has already been nothing short of an open palm slap to the forehead while my neck slowly twists from side to side, wondering, “how will I get through this day with all of my sanity?!”

It’s mid-winter break for my eldest son Jabin’s school district, so I try to plan ahead what activities we can do to keep them distracted and entertained. My fitness center is always on the top of the list because well….we already pay for it so why not drop these little knuckle heads off to them for 2 hours while I get in a good workout?! Right? Right!

My morning preparation to get them all out of the house entailed the following:

  • Breakfast- instant apple and cinnamon oatmeal compliments of Trader Joe’s!
  • Swatting Elijah away from my breasts. The kid is insatiable! *he’s 18 months and has not quite been broken from nursing, another open palm slap to the forehead*
  • Making Jabin get in the shower since he decided he was “too grown” to bathe with his brothers last night.
  • Being told I’m mean by Caleb (my otherwise comedic sweet middle son) because I wouldn’t allow him to shower with Jabin.
  • Swat Elijah again away from my breasts, watch him roll around on the floor in a tantrum, and then give in. *you guessed it, hand to the shaking head*
  • Get the boys dressed, convince Caleb that the gym will be fun today because they will be playing basketball! And then watch him slip his 3T basketball shorts OVER his jogging pants and be very excited about it. *my open palm slap to the head is now hurting me*
  • Wrangling 3 boys into the truck, amidst a borderline Michigan winter blizzard.
  • Walking into the gym, having my boys take off their coats, and then watching the childcare workers faces spread into smiles and then full out laughter when they see Caleb’s attire. At this point, I just laugh along with them!

My comedic Caleb, gotta love him!

 My comedic Caleb, gotta love him!

So I finally get to the fitness floor with my iPad mini in hand, anticipating the lovely distraction of Parenthood on Netflix. Imagine my irritation when the wifi wouldn’t connect! *whaaahhhh* So WHATEVER! LOL Despite the disappointment and the urge to just jump off the treadmill and go sit in the cafeteria and sip some coffee in peace, I did my 4 mile interval treadmill workout, which was life saving!  I’ve definitely learned to appreciate and desire the stress-reducing benefits of cardiovascular exercise! Afterwards, I had a steamy hot shower and tried not to envy the toned washboard bellies walking around the women’s locker room, got dressed, threw some type of curly jelly in my hair #teamnatural (which frankly I’m kinda over right now in this -20 degree weather), put on some make up because thats what helps to make me feel vibrant, and set off to pick up my boys! I thought to myself: ok this was good! I got in a good workout, showered, I feel good, and now I have renewed energy and patience to care for the boys the rest of the day! 

And then I got greeted with this.

“Hi.” Said the childcare front desk worker, as she presented me with a strained, you’re not gonna wanna hear this type of smile.

“Hi!” I happily exclaim in return. Remember I’m feeling good, and I didn’t quite catch that she may have some troubling news for me.

“Sooo, we had to write up Elijah today. He was throwing toys at the other kids and hitting them in the head. It made some of the children cry and their parents were upset. He’s even hitting his brothers too.” She quickly explained in a rush-like manner.

I honestly had no reaction. My sweet little baby had become the childcare center toddler terror?! I was in shock.

Elijah David, a terror? Why never!
Elijah David, a terror? Why never!

 

Seeing my pupils slowly dilate, she went on to say, “It’s just a warning! But if it happens again, he will be suspended for 3 days. This here is just a report and I need you to initial so its documented that I went over everything with you.”

I don’t even know if I read the report, I just scribbled my name and stuttered out some type of reasoning as to why my little cuddly baby boy was on his way to being kicked out of the fitness center fun place for kids. And of course when I went to scoop them all up, Elijah was his nice grinning happy self, and ran over to me with his adorable bow legged self, complete with dried up snot and a little slobber hanging from his bottom lip. Despite what I’d just been told, my heart did a little leap and I lifted him in the air and brought him in close for a hug.

“Elijah! Were you not nice today?!” I say in that mommy high-toned voice reserved for kids 2 and under.

“Huh?” he says in return, still smiling and hugging me.

Next on my Motherhood things-to-do list:

TEACH ELIJAH TO NOT HIT….ASAP! 

Wish me luck! Now is probably a good time for me to open up my parenting book on getting my kids to mind before I lose mine. If you have any “no hitting” suggestions that have worked with your kids, PLEASE share them below! I know this is my 3rd kid and all, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have those moments when I just want someone else to tell me how to mother, lol.

My Three Sons

I’d like to introduce some of you to these kids, my boys, my three sons. It wasn’t until I was pregnant with my 3rd son that I became aware that there was a TV show called My Three Sons that aired from1960-1972. I would be walking around with two toddler boys and a big bulging belly, and I would get approached by women in their 50s and 60s and wonder if I’m finally getting my girl, and when I say no its another boy, they squeal and say “oh! My Three Sons!” and I politely smile and nod in confused agreement, and in my head I’m like huh? Ok! And then it kept happening and someone finally said oh there was a sitcom in the 60’s! My Three Sons!  Photo below, funny!

Image of My Three Sons I found on google images.
Image of My Three Sons I found on google images.

So let me tell you about MY three sons. First there is Jabin (Jay-bin). He has always had a very mature, responsible nature. He can definitely get silly and make us roar with laughter, but for the most part, I describe Jabin as my intelligent know it all. He reminds me of myself! He loves learning new things and is so proud to display his knowledge when quizzed. He gets frustrated when he doesn’t pick things up quickly, but then there are also times when he just rolls with being silly and wants no part in doing homework, and his neck cranes for the den, itching to watch an episode of Power Rangers, but it has to be Power Rangers Megaforce. Or else, we gotta problem Houston! He is the best big brother a mommy could ask for… well most of the time. Sometimes I catch him strategically planting his leg in front of his little brother’s walking path and giggling with delight when they don’t see his trap he set out to trip them and make them fall flat on their faces. He thinks its funny… and I threaten to beat him each time. He stopped. LOL Jabin is also uber dramatic. He can cry in .5 seconds flat. And not just any ol’ tears. Fat, crocodile tears.  See exhibit A. *this will be deleted as soon as he is old enough to read this blog on his own*

 

He was smiling one second, and crying the next. Record-time cryer here!
Exhibit A: He was smiling one second, and crying the next. Record-time cryer here!
Couldn't do my boy like that, here's a happy photo too! HA!
Couldn’t do my boy like that, here’s a happy photo too! HA!

Then there’s Caleb, my middle child who was born with the fireworks on Memorial Day in 2011. This kid is downright cluelessly hilarious. He doesn’t try to be funny, he just is. He is wild, has selective hearing, boyishly curious, and so so sweet. He’s the kid that looks at his older brother with puppy dog eyes and says “I luv you JayJay!” and when Jabin in turn just looks at him and turns his head, he patiently repeats, “JayJay, I luv you.” And I’m watching them in my rearview mirror, heart swelling at the loving exchange between my two oldest boys, and then when I notice Caleb’s cheeks drooping and bottom lip poking out because Jabin didn’t return an “I love you” back, I meet Jabin’s eyes and stergently (a mix between stern and gentle…basically you better do as I say) say “Jabin! Tell your brother you love him!” and Jabin tries to hide his smile and finally says it back through tight lips and older brother nonchalance…you know that air that says “you are little and annoying but I tolerate you”.

But Caleb is not always my sweet, loving, middle child. He calls everybody Booty Heads and Butt Heads…and I mean everybody. I remember a time he called a complete stranger at Target a booty head, but he did so in that way where he smiled at her as he said it, as if he was giving her the best compliment his little mind could come up with. Thankfully, she was older and couldn’t quite make out what he said. And I’m that mom that was chastising out loud but my inner self was rolling with laughter. Please tell me I’m not alone…. you know, when it takes everything within you to not bust out laughing at your children’s badness. Oh, and lets not forget about the time when he stared at an older African American lady, who admittedly had very hard features. We were in the check out line, and he stared and stared, as if trying to figure her out. He finally said, “are you a boy?” and I almost choked on my Starbucks coffee. “Caleb, come here honey! Caleb!!!”  I call out. But he stood and stared. The older hard looking lady leans in and says “what you say babaaayy?” in a perfect old lady shaky voice. Caleb remained planted in his staring stance, and started to repeat “are you a boy?” but i finished my red card Target swipe and made it in time to save myself! But the 20-something-year-old male cashier we had got an earful, and his eyes were sparkly with humor and the ends of his mouth twitched with the threat that there was a deep bubble of laughter lodged in his belly that desperately wanted out. We exchanged guilty smirks, and I hustled them kids out of there as fast as I possibly could!

Caleb aka CayCayBoy!
Caleb aka CayCayBoy!

Now on to my sweet baby boy Elijah! He’s only 14 months now, so he’s still sweet…most of the time. He’s in that stage where he loves to kiss, and he gives the cutest little pucker upper you’d ever see! No one can deny kissing him! At family gatherings you may even see a line or two of all the little cousins lined up just to see Eli pucker up for them.

He’s also a mommas boy, who can’t quite talk and who’s tantrums are still minimal. This is my boyyyyy right now! When the other two are at each others throats and crying over who’s kicked who in the throat (true story), this little gooey toddler just holds fast to my leg, looks up at me with those big surprised like pretty eyes, and reaches out with a “mum!” And I smile, ignore the other two, and pick him up and cuddle. See Exhibit B taken on his 1 year birthday!

Sweet baby Eli
Exhibit B: My sweet boy!

But I’m afraid that life with brothers has already started to plant seeds of mischief in his little spirit. He will walk up to Jabin and Caleb when they are quiet and peaceful, and open hand slap them right on the head and await their reaction with absolutely no expression on his face. Or pinch them on their belly while their shirts are off, and even pinch their “wee-wee” when they are preparing to get in the tub. Or stare right at my husband, swipe him upside his head and reach back for me. I secretly like when he does that though, shhhh (stalker moms unite!). But raising three boys, Elijah has surprised us with being the first one to scare the living daylights out of me at such a young age. I expect toddlers to swipe all of the DVD’s out of the cabinets multiple times a day, and I even expect to see them climb on top of a chair or even a table here and there. But never did I expect to see him strategically unlock the oven door, stand on top of it, and play with the burners! OOOOOMG! My heart stopped! But why is he so cute?! See Exhibit C. Its probably not a good idea to get him out of the oven and then kiss him huh? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Elijah standing on the oven and scaring mommy!
Exhibit C: Elijah standing on the oven and scaring mommy!

These are small little descriptions of my little knuckle head boys, my three sons. They keep me on my toes, they make me laugh, they bring me to my knees in prayer, and I worship the Lord even deeper because of their being. ..most of the time its with a soul cry of “Lord help meeeeee!” but….whatever it takes right? hahaah

What are some of your funny stories of or with your kiddies? Post below I’d love to chuckle with you!